Game Stooge

Grinding Gears: Xbox Emulator

• Scribbled on April 24th, 2007 by Shogun6789
• Filed in Grinding Gears, Microsoft Xbox 360, Off Topic, WTF

You know what grinds my gears? The Xbox 360 Xbox emulator. I know it has been there for a while and I know it may be a little buggy/glitchy, but really, I about hit my 360 and threw it out the window trying to game “old school style.”

I’m going through all my old stuff one day and I find Oddworld: Munch’s Odyssey. I’m like, hells yeah! This was a fun game and pretty impressive for one of the first Xbox release titles. So, I check online and I see it is a “backwards compatible” game title. So I put it in, download the emulator update and start it up.

This would prove to be a horrible experience. It loads up and I’m like… “hmmm the color seems a little off…” but oh well, whatever. I create a new game and start playing. Immediately it starts lagging out of control. WTF!

I go on expecting a somewhat smooth gaming experience from this technology that Microsoft’s marketing team spins whenever someone asks what is so great about the Xbox 360. What a piece of crap, couldn’t they have put a little more money into this?

I get to the part where you first meet this shaman dude and he starts talking but I don’t hear any words coming out of his mouth. I crank my TV to the maximum but barely hear him speaking - this pisses me off. What kind of emulator ships to the public and is qualified by a team of testers but contains horrible sound and bad visual quality?

I’m a good sport and think to myself, “maybe it’s only that game.” I slap in another great title, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II and start it up. Visuals seem fine, check, sound seems fine, check. But wait there’s more…

Immediately the lagging starts on this game too. I can deal with lagging, I have played my fair share of laggy games with no complaint. All of a sudden, I hear a “crrchhhhchchc” sound which is definitely not normal behavior.

I, being that good sport just blow it off. Five minutes later, again with the “crrchhhhchchc.” What the hell? Why is this emulator screwing up my sound so badly? No sooner had the thought crossed my mind, the game starts “crrchhhhchchc-ing” uncontrollably. I GIVE UP. Exactly how badly does Microsoft want to piss of their customers?

To hell with the 360 and its flacky emulator. I pulled out my old Xbox and began to game “old school style.”

Why brag about backwards compatibility if the emulator is useless and makes gameplay unenjoyable. I guess it’s a marketing ploy to get more money. Piss off the gamers until they chuck something at their 360 out of anger and rage, causing their next-generation console to break and thus forcing us to buy a new one because Microsoft’s warranty doesn’t cover: “Xbox 360’s damaged in fits of rage brought on by the incompetency of the system.”

This truly is what grinds my gears. If you’re going to boast real backwards compatibility, MAKE THE BLASTED THING WORK RIGHT!!!