Game Stooge

REVIEW: Biker Mice From Mars (Nintendo DS)

• Scribbled on June 19th, 2007 by Mitch Dyer
• Filed in Action, Nintendo DS, Platformer, Reviews

You clear out five cats wearing orange jumpsuits with a three hit punch combo to the face.

Two jetpack wearing, gun brandishing felines enter from either side and you backflip-kick one to the ground and finish him with a punch+kick combo. As you pick up his gun, his pal closes in on you with his beam rifle, but you turn and fire just in time to clear out the screen. All of this is done with a smooth grace and the anguishing “Mraaaaaaaaow” of a once living ferocious feline echoes in the air for the millionth time this level.

You can’t help but smile in a nostaligic glee at your character, be he Vinnie, Modo or Throttle. You guide him to the beaming red pad signifying the end of the level. Rock ‘n’ Ride!

Anyone in the 20 years old age range should vaguely remember an early 90’s saturday morning cartoon called Biker Mice From Mars. Fifteen some-odd years later American Game Factory (The brilliant minds behind other games such as Code Lyoko, Legend of the Dragon and Bratz Ponyz) decided that now is the time for a new BMfM video game for the Nintendo DS.

What?

After some digging I found out the game was originally released in the UK in February of this year and June in America. It’s based off of the new series, revived for the youngsters of today. The three radical rodents return in a rockin’ DS game that isn’t very good, but holds such nostaligia that it automatically saves itself from the faults it has.

Combining the third pillar of my childhood (see also Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles) with the greatest gaming genre (2D Brawling) of all time makes me all giddy and giggly. The developer also found it necessary to include a mediocrity riddled 3D motorcycle riding portion to this brilliant work of video game art, but it’s so fast and generally fun you can shrug off the faults of this brutally marred game altogether.

Surprisingly, I found myself more amused and distracted with Biker Mice than I am with a lot of the next-gen busts that I rent.

Fortunately, the majority of the game is comprised of a 2.5D sidescrolling brawling that’s so unbalanced you’ll find yourself cruising through section one of a level and dying repeatedly by section 3. You’ll decimate a ton of enemies in some levels (The Catatonians… Cats, appropriately) then suddenly get knocked off the same cliff or punched to death over and over again by the chumps in another.

Kids will be throwing their DS’ against the wall in no time since you’ll die a lot, and find yourself back at the start of the level no matter how far you got. Hope you like agony.

Taking a look at the visuals you’ll notice nothing special here. 3D characters run rampant in a wide array of pseudo-3D environments from Martian Mines, South American jungles, New York City (which is apparently a 2 minute ‘hog ride from the afforementioned jungle), Arizona deserts and more to mix things up not only in the visual spectrum but the player interactivity.

Missiles launch from passing ships and and distant enemies will hurl grenades in your current direction, which you’ll kindly return to them for a change of pace from the 2D running/punching and platform jumping. There are hidden coins with the BMfM logo on them, but I’ve yet to see any kind of reward for finding them, sadly.

The combat consists of jumping, punching, and kicking in a variety of combos for the three characters, and while the combo button presses are all the same for each Modo, Vinnie and Throttle, their combat animations are all drastically different and unique, which is a nice touch.

Another nice touch is the music. What I realized via some more researching is it’s actual music from the new cartoon and is both awesome, and more awesome. Heavy metal shreds in the background as you kick cats in their teeth, and it never lets up. A variety of tracks keep the tunes from getting stale, and you’ll have a helluva time fighting to this rockin’ tunage.

The 2D combat and platforming is legitimately good in this game, which really took me by surprise considering how low my expectations were and it’s a great throwback to the late and great genre of 2D brawling.

Where the 2D game is the shining star of Biker Mice from Mars the wannabe-3D bike racing crashes and burns at 90 miles per hour in to a brick wall. The slippery controls only get worse as you accellerate, and just god-awful while boosting. It’s incredibly difficult to weave around obstacles and accurately shoot your enemies… But holy morphing martians do you haul ass.

The speed of the timed battles is breakneck fast, but also neck-breakingly painful to play. Luckily there’s four of these races that transition between levels.

I’ve gone on way longer about this game than I thought I possibly could. GameStooge is officially your one and only source on the internet for everything Biker Mice from Mars DS. I picked this game up in a bargain bin (where it belongs!) and had such low expectations going in that I was blown away by the sheer legitimacy of the game.

The developers didn’t screw around with this one, except that they totally forgot that there was touch-screen technology. There are a lot of little nuances to the game, and the combat is really decent and fun. The biking is difficult and sloppy, but somehow still amusing. The game is riddled with errors, but the overwhelming flood of nostalgia that I’m drowning in when I play this game warrants it 5 stars. However, in a realistic world, this is a childrens game. It’s simple to learn (which is good since you’re never told how to play) but at the same time poses a challenge for experienced gamers.

The story is so vague that anyone who doesn’t know the mythos (including me) will be totally confused as to what’s going on, but who cares? You just want to punch a cat in the eye. If you appreciate terrible/awesome games, seriously, go digging in your bargain bin. It’s super cheap, and not without good reason, but it’s worth every one of your 2000 pennies or less.

Note: All screens are taken from the import UK version. American versions of the game actually contain less on the touch screen and instructions on how to play are nowhere to be found.