Game Stooge

EDITORIAL: Spore Achievements

• Scribbled on July 25th, 2007 by Jonah Falcon
• Filed in Achievements, Features, PC, Simulations

Spore is probably going to be Will Wright’s masterpiece, his Citizen Kane (which reminds me of a relevent story: after Billy Rose saw Citizen Kane, he saw Orson afterwards, said, ”Quit, kid. You’ll never top it. Quit while you’re ahead.” Welles found out later he was right.) Well, Spore will probably feature Achievements - and if it doesn’t feature Live for Windows Achievements, it’ll certainly feature them in the inevitable Xbox 360 version, since Wright wants to release Spore on every system in existance, including mobile phones.

Well, I thought I’d help out Wright with some Achievement ideas. Feel free to join in:

 Click “Read more…” to check out the (incomplete) list:

Everyone Out of the Tide Pool - 5 points
Advance to Creature Phase

A Tribe Called Quest For Fire - 5 points
Advance to Tribal Phase

We Hope Sid Meier Doesn’t Sue - 5 points
Advance to Civilization Phase

Space, the Final Frontier - 5 points
Advance to Space Phase

Me, Myself and I - 5 points
Reproduce for the first time in Cellular phase  

Let’s Get Cilia - 5 points
Improve your creature’s mobility in the Cellular phase for the first time

Pop Goes the Weasel - 5 points
Improve your creature’s attack ability in the Cellular phase for the first time

With Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti - 5 points
Eat another creature in Creature Phase

How ‘Bout More Beans, Mr. Taggart? - 5 points
Build a campire for the first time in Tribal Phase

Let’s Get This Party Started - 5 points
Your creatures play at least 4 different musical instruments at the same time for the first time in Tribal Phase

Dude, There’s Your Car - 5 points
Produce a ground vehicle for the first time in Civilization Phase

Roads? Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads - 5 points
Produce a flying vehicle for the first time in Civilization Phase

It’s Just Swamp Gas - 10 points
Produce the UFO for the first time in Civilization Phase

Let the Probing Begin - 10 points
Kidnap an unknown species with the tractor beam

By the End of the Day It Was, Like, the More the Merrier - 15 points
Reach a population of X

Of Course You Know This Means War! - 10 points
Begin a battle with another alien species

They Seem To Think of Me As Some Sort of God - 20 points
Be worshipped on another planet by the native sapients

Witness the Power of This Fully Armed and Operational UFO - 20 points
Blow up a planet with the UFO

We Can Do It For You In Six Minutes - 25 points
Use the Genesis Device on a dead planet

Meep, Meep! - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star speed rating

I Can See You - Can You See Me? - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star stealth rating

Takes a Lickin’, And Keeps On Tickin’ - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star defense rating

We Are Family - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star social rating

Now Make It A Vicious Carnivore - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star cuteness rating

Whatever He Hits, He Destroys - 10 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star attack rating

Better. Stronger. Faster - 20 points
Evolve a creature with a 5 star rating in every rating

Gotta Catch ‘Em All - 15 points
Collect 100 Creature Sporepedia cards

It’s Alive! Alive! - 10 points
Create a creature in the Creature Editor

Go Greased Lightning - 10 points
Create a vehicle in the Vehicle Editor

It’s Just a Weather Balloon - 10 points
Create a UFO in the Vehicle Editor

Day of the Triffids - 10 points
Create a plant in the Plant Editor

You Are the Fountainhead - 10 points
Create a building in the Building Editor

(SECRET) And the Cow Jumped Over the Moon - 20 points
Use the UFO tractor beam to send a creature into orbit

To encourage Maxis and Wright to use these Achievements, I herewith release all rights and ownership of the above.