Game Stooge

How to Survive until GTA IV

• Scribbled on August 5th, 2007 by Mitch Dyer
• Filed in Features, Humor, Microsoft Xbox 360, New Release(s), Release Date(s), Sony PlayStation 3

So your precious Grand Theft Auto was delayed 6+ months huh? Sorry to hear about it, really, we are. Despite its shocking postponing, we here at GameStooge are prepared, and I myself am relieved. While I might not be the biggest GTA fan, I can’t help but think that I would have picked it up anyway. If I did, how would I have played through the rest of the games out this year? GTA’s delay actually saved me - now I’ll have time, and so will you, for these blockbuster games for 2007 instead:

Playstation 3:

Heavenly Sword: Ninja Theory brings us a God of War esque brawler with some of the greatest animation to date. A somewhat deep combat system makes for a good ass-whoopin’ time, and when the game launches on September 12th, you can dive in to the adventure of a war torn land and take control of a crimson haired heroine in a game that’s been in hype-overdrive since 2005.

Warhawk: It’s Gold, and it’s coming on September 4th. This online-only revival of an air-combat once home to the PS1 is now a pinnacle PS3 title for the fall of 2007 - coming out a mere couple months before the illustrious Grand Theft Auto would have is dangerous, but it looks like Playstation 3 players will have something to satiate that Battlefield need and something to play online without having to worry about what’s going on in Liberty City. It’s available at retail for 60 smackers, and 40 on the PSN.

Lair: Despite controvertial delays, Lair, a dragon flight-combat game using strictly the six-axis controller for all movement, will be coming out September 4th for your fire-breathing pleasure. Innovative controls, air and ground combat, as well as some hot and sweaty dragon-on-dragon action should satify a lot of the fans looking for something new on the PS3, but a shocking 5.5/10 in EGM might deter a lot of potential buyers.

Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction: While the gameplay of the new Ratchet title looks to be pretty similar as its previous titles, what shocks onlookers are the Pixar-esque visuals and the amount of stuff on the screen at one time. Massive enemies loom over Ratchet as he pumps them full of lead in a number of videos that just get us pumped for this title, whenever it might come out this year. Look forward for the demo on PSN as well.

Uncharted: Drakes Fortune: If you combined Gears of War, Tomb Raider and super fluid animation and put them in a blender you’d get something along the treasure hunting, pirate shootin’, ass whoopin’ adventure that Uncharted aims to be. The game itself is getting some flack from the big news sites, but a good amount of refining should prep this awesome looking game for its release in what is likely December.

X-Box 360:

Halo 3: Microsoft’s juggernaut; Bungie’s third in a series chronicling the adventures of a one Spartan John-117, rank Master Chief… This is one for the books, folks. The finale draws nearer and nearer, and on September 25th you can finally finish the fight, or have it carry on in to the wildly popular online multiplayer. Put this one on pre-order if you haven’t already. This game is gonna absolutely rock your world, provided there’s no Halo 2 ending.

Mass Effect: A new Bioware RPG is always a good thing, and keeping it sci-fi is all the better. As Captain Shepherd, the first of the human Spectre’s (an elite enforcement unit) you’ll be saving the solar system from the reign of terror that Saren, a diabolacal turian, wreaks across it in this squad based action-RPG destined for the 360 in mid-November. There’s no reason not to want this one, really…

Bioshock: This gorgeous underwater RPG-FPS is getting ridiculously close to launch, and you should keep an eye on this beauty. Combining elements of shooting and skill building in an underwater city with nearly limitless possibilities of execution makes this eerie looking game worth picking up. No multiplayer is a bummer, but the single player is said to be abundant with goodies, so much so that you’ll have plenty to do on your own. Watch out for the fat guys… They’re cranky.

Multiplatform/Notable Mentions:

Assassins Creed is Ubisoft’s latest stealth based game, setting you in the era of the Crusades as an assassin. Little else is known since the games details are being strictly kept in the dark, and for good reason - the tantalizing bits about genes and time have us itching to know more, and it’s making everyone more and more excited to jab big knives in to the faces of some crazy Christian soldiers. If killin’ ‘aint your forte, maybe rockin’ is, and with two big Guitar Hero games (face it, Rock Band is essentially that, with much much more) coming in the fall… Which one should you get? Both, in my opinion, but if your cash stricken, then it’s going to be a tough one. There’s a lot to love this fall - submit your wallet to Microsoft/Sony now and just get it overwith. Be thankful that GTA IV is delayed - how else could you cram all of these rad looking games in to your consoles?