Game Stooge

REVIEW: Bayonetta (360/PS3)

• Scribbled on January 18th, 2010 by Jonah Falcon
• Filed in Action, Microsoft Xbox 360, Reviews, Sony PlayStation 3

Bayonetta is unlike any game that has been released, at least at this high level of quality. It is one of those games that comes once in a blue moon, that’s so unrepentantly audacious and so polished at the same time. The game is a bullet shot into the video game scene, bringing a spot of Russ Meyer to is otherwise a staid industry. Breasts and buttocks fly at the viewer, but it’s the sort of hyper-femininity usually shown by drag queens. It’s the “look, but don’t touch or I’ll snap you in two” leering one would find in a film like Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Like that film, the heroine of the game is clad in black leather, albeit made from her prehensile hair. She may be flirtatious, but it’s only when she’s kicking ass. She may seem slutty, but she’s not available.

This game would be meaningless, however, without solid gameplay, and Bayonetta makes previous third person beat’em up action titles like God of War and Devil May Cry seem like clumsy oafs; Bayonetta is a sleek, elegant dance in comparison. Like those games, you execute combinations of button presses to create special move combos. While it may seem like a button masher in the early stages, as new features are included, the true beauty of the controls are seen. The first and foremost device is Witch Time, which is a bullet-time sequence in which everyone but Bayonetta goes into slo-motion, allowing her to whack and combo in peace. Witch Time is executed when Bayonetta makes a last second dodge of an attack. In the game, Witch Time is the chief weapon Bayonetta will use to survive (that is, when not facing enemies that take it away from her), and using it feels so natural you’ll wonder how you ever played games without it. Successive hits eventually allow Torture Attacks, in which the game pauses as Bayonetta locks her opponent into a cringe-inducing death tap – you use a quick-time button mash to increase the value of the trap. When you defeat a boss, a Climax attack occurs, in which a demon summoned by Bayonetta’s hair comes and dispatches the foe in a grisly manner.

Viewers watching the game will see a confused whirlwind of seemingly random combat on the screen, but for the player, it’s orchestrated and strategic; Bayonetta may be one of the most strategic action games of its kind in game history. The game’s learning curve is perfect, so even neophytes will grasp how to play quickly. There are two ultra easy modes that allow players to play the game using only one button (!), and players must complete Normal difficulty to gain access to harder modes. It’s worth it, however, as multiple playthroughs give access to more weaponry (like rocket launchers!) and clothes.

The game also looks fantastic, and features some of the best, most dizzying set pieces you’ll ever see. For example, the player is treated to an opening level in which Bayonetta and her sometime foe Jeanne fight together while flying through space on a rotating clock tower. The music is incredible, with reportedly over 100 songs and scores. The problems of the PlayStation 3′s framerate drops and screen tearing are well-known, but honestly, it doesn’t detract from the experience at all.

As for the story, well, it’s something about the balance of light and darkbeing offkilter for the past 500 years, and you, Bayonetta, must restore the balance – for the dark side. Your enemies are evil angels of light. Along the way, a guy named Luka accuses you of killing his father, Bayonetta must take care of a little girl named Cereza who’s strikingly familiar, and in the end, Bayonetta dances. At least, that’s part of the plot. The game is wildly confusing, but it does it in style.

In short, Bayonetta is already one of the front-runners for Game of the Year – and it was released on January 5. That’s how good it is. If you want a wild ride with naughty (and sometimes uproarious) humor, Bayonetta is the game for you – the game seemingly made by drag queens for drag queens. This chick is fierce.

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